In the Stillness

The opportunity for my husband and I to get a night alone is far and few between.  Tonight was one of those nights. When left with no children we sometimes find ourselves at a loss. Our lives seem to always revolve around their needs and wants and ours get pushed to the side. After driving around aimlessly for about 45 minutes trying to decide where we should go for dinner (I joked we should call Erin because we usually let her decide where we eat) we finally settled on a place and enjoyed our quiet dinner together. It is so nice to have time to share alone to reconnect with him and remember why it was we fell in love just those few years ago.

Now we are home and he is in bed falling asleep. I decided to finish up some things I around the house that I don't get time to do when the girls are at my heels. Then passing their room I stopped, looked in, and began to cry.  I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of how blessed we are. How many people ache for years for a child never to receive the gift. Or those, like a friend of mine from high school, who recently lost her 1 year old little boy in a tragic accident, or from cancer, or their children have been missing and never found.  There are days when I think my children will push me over the edge and that if I don't get a break I may crumble. Days where my baby won't stop crying because she is teething and can't be soothed. Days where my 3 yr old wants me to watch every little thing she does and asks a million questions while I am trying to concentrate on something I feel is important in the moment. But as my friend once plainly said after losing her daughter, what she wouldn't give for just one more day of her daughter throwing a temper tantrum, or asking to help bake some cookies, or to read her just one more story before bed. They drive me crazy and yet one night without them and I miss them so much I feel that tomorrow can't come fast enough for me to sweep them up and kiss their little faces.  I hear songs on the radio talking about how they grow so fast and I know it's true. I need to treasure these times and remember to always count my blessings. I am so wonderfully blessed beyond measure to have the gift of being a mother. I don't know why I felt the need to share this with the blog world, but I am sure there are other moms out there like me who sometimes feel they are being stretched to the limits and feel ready to break. But here, in the stillness, in the quiet, my heart swells for all the Lord has blessed us with.